Nathan: My little Rageaholic

6 hours, nearly 6 hours.

To have wasted 6 hours trying to "get started" on art, it is damn-near loony.

This prior statement is one that is paraphrased through my lips too commonly these days. This incredible agony over one thing. An idea. A thing so simple in literal terms, but my goodness, does it drive me to frustration and agony. Should that be so? Should a simple idea be so painful to attempt to express? Why curse a human with such a ravaging hindrance; when they just want to attempt to express what fills there mind?

(one shot)

"To hell with it," I'd like to say. Though I can't drag this hindrance out of my mind and down to hell. It is just a part of me.  

(two shots)

Not sure what i'm trying to achieve with this passage. My point was that this frustration can be personified in a little character of mine. Nathan or Rageman as he was originally called. Just a furious albino man with a large bat. Why a bat, you might ask. Because when i find that the creative process is impossible to appease ; the imagery of smashing the source of my troubles with a bat. Ex. a computer, car or document. (maybe a fellow here or there but I'd think talking about hitting fools with bats would be seen as far to hostile for normal society to understand.

So I created a tallish agressive man with red eyes of violent intent. Not because I am violent but as a foil for my aggressive thought pattern. He is a dear sweet person but in those few incidents he is a driving force that draws attention with his physical retorts*. (*smacking up stuff with his bat.)

Normally i'd get this far and then delete or store this post but hell i'll post it right now. My god this alcohol is starting to burn a bit.